As I started to write this I kept hearing the song, “We Didn’t Start The Fire,” by Billy Joel. As he put it, “it was always burning since the world’s been turning.” In 2020 we faced our first experience of a global pandemic. Who knew that to put this fire out the entire world would have to isolate from those they love, stop going to work, stay home and re-learn how to feel connected using technology?
How does a single person date during covid? How can a couple feel intimate when the kids are always home? How can you feel excited about life when it’s restricted? Here are 4 things you can do to bring the spark back into your relationships and into your life:
- Shift Your Perspective: If you are single and starting to feel hopeless about dating then perhaps dating has become too much like work. Dating can be fun and filled with magic... You literally swiped on an app and identified another person you want to meet. There is magic here! When you go on your date, be curious, leave expectations at the door, let go of what someone is “supposed” to be. Imagine you are meeting up with a friend. Try it.
- Find Pleasure and Joy in The Mundane: Doing daily activities like cooking, grocery shopping, going to work, being with the kids can be fun. Bring mindfulness into your activities. Mindfulness is being present by engaging all your senses in the moment. When you are cooking, feel the food in your hands, the motion of the chopping, see the sauce as it gently drizzles onto your plate, smell the aroma of the food, taste each bite and let it roll around in your mouth. Eating may never be the same again.
- Value Your Energy Consciously choose to make new energy boosting choices. When you are with people notice who lifts you up and who brings you down? Is the information you are taking in like watching the news draining you? Are you saying yes to things you don’t want to do? Limit time with negative people. Ask for help if you need it! Imagine how much energy you could save!
- Practice Gratitude: When you’re in lockdown it’s easy to forget to be thankful. The truth is every morning you wake up and you have a new opportunity to live life. Breathing is a gift. The people in your life are a gift. The place you live, the things you have are all here just for you. Practice writing or speaking 3 things you are grateful for daily.
When the world is changing as fast as it is it’s more important than ever to put aside the worries of life and carve out time for oneself daily. Each of these steps has the ability to reconnect you back to yourself. You are important and there is a spark within you calling to come out. Go find it!
Natalie Kusturic, M.A, LMFT is a therapist with over 18 years experience in mental health. She focuses on anxiety, depression, divorce and helps men and women become the most authentic expressions of themselves. You can find her on the web at www.nataliekusturic.com or call her at 561.316.8164. DM to schedule an appointment today, @nataliekusturic. #nataliekusturic
